Transformers 4: Back for More Money made more than $120 million worldwide on just its opening day… Proof that we live in a fallen world.

Michael Bay bloats a story about huge robot aliens attacking other huge robot aliens to almost criminal lengths – nearly three hours, full of noisy mindless action with absolutely no tension.

The best character is killed off after thirty minutes, and the opening titles are way too far away from the end credits – a solid hour and half of useless nuts and bolts could be cut from the middle of this Transformers with absolutely no impact on the story. It just gives Michael Bay more time to throw in loads of needless product placement.

Nobody wanted a Transformers sequel in the first place. If you like loud, overlong, incoherent films with 99% of things onscreen being computer-generated, then you might like this one. But my guess is that most people won’t be turned onto the franchise because of Age of Extinction.

Transformers: Age of Extinction is rated PG-13 for “intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language, and brief innuendo.”

© Matt Tory, 2014.